Meet the Broard of Directors
Bill Whitacre - Chariman Member Since: 2004 Bill Whitacre was one of the original member of the DMS, and became chairman through a relatively bloodless coups in 2015. During his time as chairman, he plans to make a new friend to help him build the float. |
Tony Miles - Comptroller Member Since: 2016 Tony Miles manages the daily financial needs of the society. He thinks he has been a member since 2005, but the rest of the board only agreed to let him in during a secret meeting in 2016 |
Devon Parson - Grease Man Member Since: 2004 A founding member of the DMS, Devon now contributes by stripping down, oiling up, and squeezing into small spaces, as needed. |
Collin Parson - Auxiliary Viceroy Member Since: 2007 Dude got thick. |
Spencer Fuller - Stenographer Member Since: 1945 After returning from WWII where he worked as a masseur for General Eisenhower, Spencer decided he wanted to give back to his community by joining the DMS. He fills the important role of shitting on everything everybody does. |
Dave Kerns - Master at Arms Member Since: 1998 Dave was a founding member of the Durango Metropolitan Society's predecessor, known as the "Righteous Order of Lucifer". Dave carries on that tradition by overseeing our goat sacrifices and human resource management operations. |
Jeff Petty - DJ Member Since: 2003 Jeff provides the music for DMS events. His love of emo, screamo, house, trance, hardcore, speedcore, dubcore, and German techno have kept our parties going late into the night. |
Dan Rhode(s) -Pontiff Membership Pending. Dan will become a full-fledged DMS board member when he adds and “s” to the end of his name. You know it’s the right thing to do, Dan. |
Kalin Fuller - Quitter Member: 2006-2010 Kalin used to be cool. |
Tyler Hurley - Chosen One Member Since: 2005 Legend tells of a savior ariving from the east, who will lead the Durango Metropolitan Society to glory through the independent manipulation of his eyebrows. |
Ben Newman - Haberdasher Member Since: 45 minutes a year since 2006 Ben is one of North America’s last surviving torporal land primates. Ben hibernates in a cave 364 days of the year, only venturing out to take part in the DMS Snowdown Parade. Once the parade is over, he returns to the cave to sleep off his hangover for the next year. |
A mob of drunken 20-somethings. Members Since: 2004 The majority of DMS board members is a volatile, drunken mass of angry young people who commandeer the float every year. No one knows who they are or what they want , but everyone is too scared to tell them to stop. |